Weekly Weigh 3: Uhhh.. I lost how much?!

"I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight."

                       

                                                                             - Emily, The Devil Wears Prada

     Damn, it's been a long week.  A long, shitty week.  There's just no sugar coating this weekly weigh in. It's going to be short and blunt because mama needs to get her ass back in bed. 

     Where to begin?  Ok goals.  Did I achieve the goals I set out for myself last week? NO, not a single step was taken on the treadmill.  Instead, our family came down with the stomach flu (yours truly included).   When I wasn't attending to one of my sick children in the bathroom, I was in there myself.  It was a horrible experience and for 3 days I could barely find the energy to stay awake, let alone exercise. 

     Thankfully, it seems to have passed. Solid food oh how I have missed you!  I will simply re-use last week's goals for this upcoming week. 3 times on the treadmill, not counting distance or time, just get on there.  If it would warm up a bit outside, I may even take a walk outside with my new walking buddy (stay tuned for next week's formal introduction).  

     So how did this week end up reflecting on the scale?  Ugh, today was hard guys. I walked in to my meeting, knowing that I was going to be down.  But I wasn't feeling all that proud of it. I mean, I didn't work for it. I didn't even eat!  Plus, despite my best efforts, I could tell that I am still suffering from a bit of dehydration.  Meaning that much of my weight loss likely is just water weight and I might end up gaining it back next week.

     10.8 pounds!  10 fucking pounds I vomited away this week!  Holy shit. Immediately I was warned that this was a dangerous amount of weight to lose in a week. Umm yeah totally unintentional.  This put me not only past my first 5 lbs lost, but also my 10 lbs and 15 lbs marker.  Usually all celebrated in your Weight Watcher meetings.  I wouldn't let them give me my 15 lbs sticker. It was difficult enough standing up for my 5 and 10 lbs stickers knowing that it wasn't through my hard work but rather some chance encounter with a virus that pushed me to that point.  If I keep the weight off next week (when fully re-hydrated) I will celebrate then.


Starting Weight:342.4 lbs
Current Weight: 327.2 lbs
Weekly Gain/Lost: -10.8 lbs
Total Lost: 15.2 lbs

     I'm not kidding when I said I'm now going to bed!  It's going to be warm and there's blankets and pillows and I have no shame... I'm going to bed at 6:30 pm and I'm gonna love it. I survived today and got through my meeting, the kids, and watching after my walking buddy - that deserves an early bedtime!  Mostly I still am worn out from the mess that was this past week.

    I look forward to checking in next week,  hopefully with a better attitude and a fun introduction!  

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Weekly Weigh In 2: Finding Motivation and the Ugly Truth

     Hello all, and welcome to week 2.  I survived the first week!  It really wasn't all that terrible. The first 2 days I was pretty hungry as I usually am conservative with what I eat when starting out. By the end I was eating to my fill and actually finding it difficult to eat all my daily points. In the past I have always been someone who tends to skip meals and over eat in the evening, so a solid 3 a day and snacks seems like a lot of food to me.

     New Years was difficult. I'll fully admit that.  I think it is difficult for everyone trying to lose weight. Drinks can easily throw you off course, and it was my extended family's Christmas get together.  Food and treats were in abundance.  I didn't deny myself anything, but I did make an effort to not eat as much as I had in the past and I made sure to track everything.  That one day cost me the whole set of weekly points.

     So did it pay off?  IT DID. I am happy to announce that today when I weighed in I am down 4.4lbs!  My goal for this month is averaging 1-2 lbs per week, and this has set me well on my way.

     Goals for week 2: can't I just keep on doing what I did in week 1? It worked for getting me down 4 lbs!  But I don't think it's going to help my goal of being able to do more with the kids. So for week 2 I have set the goal to get on the treadmill at least 3 times. No clue how fast or how far I am going to walk, I can worry about endurance another time. Right now I just need to get my ass up.

    Which brings me to my motivational story.  If you have read my previous posts you may remember that my youngest son was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy last January (if you are interested in that post it can be found here).   Part of  his ongoing care is physical therapy twice a week. This was first to help him learn to crawl, stand, walk and most recently to build core strength.  It's been a struggle for him from the beginning, and it may continue to be for the rest of his life. But he is a little fighter, seriously a spitfire who isn't afraid of putting anyone in their place (and often does).

    Well this past Tuesday we got official notice that he has "graduated" out of physical therapy for the next few months! He's discharged until late April - early May where he only needs to go back to be re-evaluated to make sure he's continuing to develop on the correct schedule.  That was the moment where it just clicked for me.  If this little boy can overcome brain damage to walk, there is certainly no excuse I have to not get up and do a simple walk a few times a week.

     OK time for the ugly truth. Last week I promised measurements and a photo.  I won't be posting these every week, I figured once a month would better show my progress. Plus getting this selfie  was a straight up pain in the ass.  In the future I will employ the help of my husband as I am COMPLETELY INEPT in the art of the selfie.  And you know what? I'm proud of that. So this is an extra special ugly "before" picture.  If you use it to make a meme I will hunt you down and cut you!  However, feel free to photoshop my head on Sofia Vergara's body (I'll take that meme).

Hey all check out those sassy shopping carts! Don't look at my arms or my body! TURN AWAY! 

Measurements:

Bust: 54"               Bicep: 19.5"
Waist: 52"             Thigh: 36"
Hip: 63.5"

Starting Weight: 342.4 lbs
Current Weight: 338.0 lbs
Weekly Loss/Gain: -4.4 lbs
Total Loss: -4.4 lbs


     Here is where I must depart and say "I'll see you next week", but I am not going to leave you empty handed. If you have followed me or know me, you know that music is a huge part of my life and I feel is my best form of expression (even if it's not my words being sung).  So each week I'm gonna wrap these posts up with a song that has best summed up my week or has motivated me.

This week's selection is  'Amnesia' by RED SUN RISING.  You can watch the hilarious video here (NSFW due to language).  I chose this for two reasons: 1. RED SUN RISING is quickly becoming one of my favorite bands and 2. I love the message that you just have this one moment, this one chance to make your life what you want it to be.


  See you next week!

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Weight Watchers Week 1: Back On This Again?

     I know what you all are thinking?  "Oh she's back at blogging again? How quaint."  You'd only be half wrong, or half right which ever side of the philosophical glass tickles your fancy.  

     Yes, it is true that I have returned to blogging.  It's been something I have been meaning to get back to for some time now. But you know, kids, life, blah blah blah.  However, I am also returning to another program and that is Weight Watchers.

     OMG shock and appall!  Valerie from A Beauty in the Chaos is fat?!  Yeah. Have been for quite some time. And while it's not something that I am particularly fond of, I don't let it define who I am.

     So what has changed, why start now?  Man, I don't know.  I know the program works for me, I have been successful with it in the past. Usually when I return, I feel confident and excited to start a new regime.  This time I just don't feel that sudden urge of motivation, I'm skeptical of my ability to stick with it.  I just feel like something needs to change, I need to change.  

      I want to be more active with my kids. That's probably the biggest motivation for this change.  A week ago we took our kids to the trampoline park, and I couldn't jump with them.  Not that I didn't want to, or that I didn't feel like it. I couldn't. As in they wouldn't let me. I exceeded the max weight limit. If there is something I hate more than being fat, it's being told "no".

    Forward to now, half way through my first week.  Grumbling and bitching to myself because I started right before New Years.  Which means in addition to the slightly starved feeling I always have the first week of the program (it clears up by the second week when I start making better choices), I also had to limit my drinks and refuse a bunch of delicious food at my family get together.  But, I AM getting through it, and staying on track.

     So, this is it. My lackluster introduction to my new weekly series following my progress!  Of course I will do my best to continue the monthly favorites posts and Pintertest series. I also hope to add in some posts where I review various recipes that I am trying out.  And of course if you have any feedback on something you would like me to try out, feel free to comment with your suggestion below!

     For now, adios!  I will be back on Thursday for my weekly weigh in and let you know the results of my first week.

P.S. Ah fuck I forgot this part of the damn series where I tell you my starting weight and such.

Ok, ok starting weight 342.4lbs.  I will give measurements out next week when I'm feeling a bit braver. You already got my starting weight! DON'T BE GREEDY! :)
   
 
       

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The Pintertest Files: Brownie in a Mug

      Hello all and welcome to a VERY late Pintertest File!  Brought to you by Mediacom (#notsponsered) who decided to do "maintenance" this week resulting in us not having a reliable Internet connection for a good chunk of the week!  Thanks!

     If you live pretty much anywhere in the Midwest like I do, you have recently been experiencing some seriously crappy cold weather.  Now I like myself a good winter, but when it gets to be February I am pretty much over it.  Luckily for me that is just about when Iowa weather decides to take a turn for the worst and get really cold.

     So being that I didn't want to leave my house at all this past week.  I had to come up with a Pintertest that could be tested with objects/ingredients that we already had.  Throw in every one's love for a tasty baked good and we have this month's file: the brownie in a mug.

     Pinterest is FILLED with these single serve baked delights, brownie in a mug, cake in a jar, cookie in a cup, 4 course steak dinner in a mason jug... if you haven't seen a post for one of these, you haven't been browsing Pinterest.   But the question that has always lingered on my mind is... do they actually taste good?  Tonight we found out.

What You Will Need:

• 2 tablespoons of lightly flavored oil (don't break out the extra virgin olive for this)
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour 
• 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons water 
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 
• 1 large egg
• Pinch of salt (optional)
• Mixing Bowls
• Measuring Cups
• Microwave

Step 1:  Sift the Dry Ingredients Together

     In a mixing bowl sift together the cocoa powder and the flour.  Cocoa powder usually has some clumps so sifting is preferred but not absolutely necessary. 

Step 2:  Whisk the "Wet" Ingredients Together

      In a separate mixing bowl whisk together the egg, oil, brown sugar, water, vanilla, and the salt (if used). 

Step 3:  Whisk Ingredients Together and Pour into Mug

     Whisk the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until combined.   Pour into desired mug.  I read in multiple sources that a tall skinny mug works best at reducing the chances of the mix rising over the top of the mug while cooking.  Since scraping burnt chocolate off microwave floors is just not my scene, I went with that. Whatever you use, just make sure the mug is microwave safe and can hold 12 ounces. 

Step 4: Microwave

     Clean up any drips around the edges of the mug, then place in the microwave for 1 minute and 45 seconds.  You may need more or less time depending on the power of your microwave and the mug being used.  Our microwave is an old 950 Watts microwave with a broken turn table.  So less time may need to be used in a newer model. 

Step 5: Serve 

      CAUTION: the brownie will be extremely hot!  Also this makes a very good sized brownie, it can definitely serve more than one person.  I took it out of the mug and cut it up in thirds to serve, and it was still a satisfying amount of brownie, especially when served with ice cream.
   

Final Grade and Thoughts:

     This tasted pretty damn good.  It wasn't a dense fudge-y brownie, it had more of a spongy cake-like texture.  But it was tasty and definitely would fill a craving.   The recipe was quick and easy enough, although for a "single serving" treat it did produce a lot of dishes (separate mixing bowls).  It leaves me wondering how this would turn out if one were to try and stir all the ingredients together directly in the mug.  Overall I would recommend this to anyone who would like to indulge in a sweet treat without having a pan of left over brownies tempting them the rest of the week. 

 

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January Favorites!

     Hello!  Welcome to the first favorites post of 2016!  It's going to be a bit on the short side as I have not been too adventurous with new products, or I just haven't liked them. Take your pick.  Most cosmetic products I have recently been fond of were discussed in my 2015 Favorites post (here), but there are a few things I wanted to share with you guys - so let's get started!

Books:  God of the Dead (Seasons of Blood #1) by Elias Anderson

God of the Dead by Elias Anderson available at Amazon.com

     This month I am playing around with a free trial of Kindle Unlimited, a subscription service that grants you access to tons of book titles through my Kindle app.   This was a book recommended to me based on my previous purchases.  I didn't know anything about the author or the series (it's apparently a prequel to a trilogy) and since it was free I thought "why not."

     I don't quite know how to place the genre.  It's definitely horror,  but there is a very interesting mix of crime drama as well.  The book was well written, the scenes were very descriptive (if you don't like a bit of gore don't bother).  It was an extremely fast read.  The book is 244 pages and I think it only took me an hour or two to finish off.  I did find myself wishing there was more to the story when I was finished.  It wasn't an unsatisfactory ending per se, but the book moved quicker than I would have liked.  That being said it is classified as a prequel and after reading this book I will certainly be looking into the next three titles to see if they are similar in quality.

TV/Movies:  Jessica Jones Season 1

Jessica Jones Season 1 available through Netflix 

     Based on the Marvel super heroine of the same name, this Netflix series has quickly become one of my favorite comic book adaptations of all time.  Yes, I said it.  It may even be better than Batman (ok maybe not, but at least tied with the Dark Knight).

    "Why?" you may ask, "What makes this series so good?"  Well, first off all this seasons main villain is probably one of the scariest villains of all time, Kilgrave.  A man whose ability allows him to control the minds of others, leading them to do his evil bidding by making them believe it's what they want as well.  The series is amazing at not only explaining  Kilgrave's mentality that he has done nothing wrong (it wasn't him that killed after all), but also the mental deterioration that a person endures after Kilgrave has forced them to do something against their nature. 

    In addition to the villain, the series depiction of Jessica Jones is also exceptional.  She is not what one would call a typical super hero, most of the season she is actively avoiding being labeled "the good guy."   There are even  points in the series where you find yourself almost rooting against her.   Of course her history and experience with the antagonist explains her actions, but it is this internal character struggle that makes the series stand out from the countless other super hero series currently being aired. 

Music:  January Mixed Tape

 January's mixed tape on audio cassette no longer available

    So this month was kind of a hodge podge of music.  There wasn't really any rhyme or reason to what I listened to.. on any given day I didn't even stay within a genre, so this month really is a mix!  

1. Disturbed -  The Sound of Silence - this cover completely blew me away when I first heard it on the radio a week or two ago. 
2. Rise Against - The Good Left Undone 
3. Sia - Elastic Heart - I don't care what people say about the video, if you look up the story behind it, it's brilliant. 
4. Led Zepplin - Stairway to Heaven 
5. Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road 
6. Eminem feat. Rihanna  - Love The Way You Lie
7. Stone Sour feat. Lzzy Hale - Gimme Shelter - another fantastic cover 
8. Bring Me the Horizon - Throne
9. Elton John - Believe 
10. Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side of Heaven 

Makeup: L'Oreal Infalliable 24 Hour Eye Shadow 

L'Oreal Infalliable 24 Hour Eye Shadows available at most discount and drug stores 

     This isn't a new product to me, I've actually had these for quite a while.  I don't know why I have overlooked or neglected them for so long.  They have a fantastic formula.  I don't know if they last 24 hours or not. I don't believe I have ever had an occasion where it was necessary for me to wear eyeshadow for 24 hours.  But the shadows do last a while with out creasing or fading. 

    In particular if you are looking for a bright cool toned purple, check out Perpetual Purple or Purple Priority.  You may have to look in some various locations, while they are available at most discount and drug stores, each chain has its own exclusive colors. Unfortunately I don't remember which chain of stores carried the purple colors.  But the purples are some of the best purple shadows available. I'm not kidding.  

    A downside to these is that they can be a little bit tricky to work with, only because they are actually loose pigments that are pressed down into the jar.  So its this odd mixture of a pressed shadow and a loose pigment.  I have found that a finger or a cheap sponge applicator works best for getting the pigment on your lid then you can blend with a brush.   

     

     That is all I have folks!  If there is something you think I should try out, or if you disagree with any of my choices feel free to comment below!  I'd love to hear from you.  As always thank you for stopping by and I will see you next week! 

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January 2016 Ipsy vs. Boxycharm

     Well hello fellow beauties!  If you are like me then you too have probably had enough of your own chaos this month (what is with January? it's a magnet for chaos).  So lets lighten things up and talk about what we got in this month's Ipsy bags and Boxycharm boxes.

     Again to quickly give the rundown on how these work.  Ipsy is a $10 a month subscription service.  Each month you are sent a small cosmetic bag filled with various beauty products based on a questionnaire you fill out.  Usually products are sample sizes and are from both drugstore and high end brands.

     Boxycharm is a more expensive subscription service at $21 a month.  It almost exclusively contains high end products and the majority of the time they are full sized. I pay for both of these subscriptions myself and the reviews of the products included are my own.  You know the drill.

Ipsy:

January 2016 Ipsy Bag 'All Eyes on You'

     'All Eyes on You' is the theme for this month's Ipsy bag.  It comes in a very brightly colored bag that is kind of Andy Warhol-ish.  The description says "Keep your eyes on the Prize!  From must-have products to prettify your peepers - like the Balm's cult-fave eyeliner - to on-the-go beauty essentials. January is all about a seriously standout look."

Coastal Scents Pearl Shadow Angle Brush:

Large Pearl Shadow Angle Brush by Coastal Scents

     I have tried a few of the Coastal Scents eye shadow palettes, and have mixed feelings regarding them.  So when I saw that I got a brush in this Ipsy bag I was skeptical regarding it's quality.  But I am happy to report that this brush is of a very nice quality.  The ferrule and handle are both very sturdy and tight.  The bristles are very soft and I haven't experienced any shedding.  The shape of this brush is a little awkward as it is very large, best used to apply a shadow across my entire lid which I don't often do.  But that's more just personal preference, not anything particularly bad in how this brush was constructed. 

   Also as a bonus there is a 25% off code that can be used.  I think it's for any purchase at CoastalScents.com the code is Pearl25Off, and of course I like to share those codes with any readers in case they would like to try the products out for themselves.   The code does expire on March 7 of 2016 so it is good for another month or so. 

Skyn Iceland Glacial Cleansing Cloths

Skyn Iceland Glacial Cleansing Cloths

     Admittedly I have abandoned the use of cleansing cloths as they tend to dry my skin out, so these did not appeal to me the way they might to someone else.  I have used these to clean my hands/arms when swatching products. So my impression is based of that type of use. 

    These wipes are different in that there is a lot more product loaded on these cloths than the traditional makeup removing cloths.  Reading the instructions one is supposed to rub two ends together to create a foamy lather, then use the cloth on the skin.  It definitely lathers up and takes off makeup well.  However you are not supposed to rinse the lather off, just leave it on to dry.  I didn't mind doing that with my hands, but I don't think I would like doing that with my face. 

     Also the fragrance with this is very strong.  It's not unappealing. Just very strong.  So while it says it's been formulated for people with sensitive skin, the strong fragrance makes me wonder how it would actually affect my skin.   For now I'm sticking with using them on swatches. 

City Color Eyeshadow Trio - Falling Leaves

City Color Eyeshadow Trio in Falling Leaves

     This is a nice trio of eye shadows from City Color.  The formula was very nice, not quite creamy but smooth with very little powder being kicked up with I dipped my brush into the pan. The colors did apply a little sheer, but they can be built up quite nicely and a base or primer helps tremendously.
 

Close up of Falling Leaves  Eyeshadow Trio by City Color 

     I'm actually quite happy to get this in my Ipsy bag.  It is some shades I would never have picked out for myself.  While it may not be my most favorite shades on myself, I like that receiving this has forced me to try something a little out of my comfort zone. 

City Color Eyeshadow Trio in Falling Leaves Swatch

the Balm Mr. Write (Now) - Jac

the Balm Mr. Write (Now) in Jac

     Another color that I would probably have not picked out for myself.  This is a deep gold almost bronze eye liner.   The formula of this is fantastic.  It applies easily without tugging, and once it is set it does not budge.  I have yet to try it in my waterline, but I am impressed with what I have seen so far.  I may look into other colors that are more my style. 

the Balm Mr. Write (Now) in Jac swatch

Lasting Smiles Organic Lip Balm - Peppermint Creme 

Lasting Smiles Organic Lip Balm in Peppermint Creme

     I have nothing bad to say about this lip balm.  It made my lips feel soft and hydrated. When first applied it is a bit shiny but nothing too bad.  The hydrating feeling lasts for quite a while, I didn't feel like I needed to constantly re-apply, even through eating and drinking. The flavor is light and fades fairly quickly but is pleasant while it's around. 

   In addition to being a nice balm, it is organic and the proceeds help fund surgeries that fix cleft lips and palates in children around the world. 

Boxycharm:

January 2016 Boxycharm 'Eyes on 2016'

     January's Boxycharm was also focused on eyes with it's theme being 'Eyes on 2016'.  

Royal & Langnickel Revolution Brush Set - Full Size - $23.97

   

Royal & Langnickel Revolution Brush Set 

     The first product is an eye brush set from Royal & Langnickel.  Included in the set is the BX-90 which a pointed crease brush. The BX-80 which is a typical flat shade brush for packing shadow on the lid.  And finally the BX-95 which is a pointed detail brush for smudging and contouring.

    So these are supposed to be revolutionary in their design.  They have a special "textured fiber" bristle (all brushes are of synthetic materials) that is supposed to act more like a natural hair bristle but without the fragility of natural hair.

     As far as performance goes, I don't know if I see a huge difference in how they lay down product. I need to try these out with my ColourPop shadows as usually I prefer to use a synthetic bristle for those to avoid the brush absorbing too much product.  I can say that I am not super fond of the BX-90 the crease brush.  The bristles are long like my other crease brushes, but this brush is very stiff.  It feels like an odd hybrid between a traditional crease brush and a smudging brush.  It's just different, and I'm finding it difficult to get a blown out, well blended crease with this brush.  If you have any suggestions or ideas on how this brush should be used PLEASE tell me so in the comments!  I'd love to know if I am using this wrong.

Note that each brush is also available individually for $7.99

Blinc Mascara Amplified - Full Size - $26.00

Blinc Mascara Amplified in black

     I wont lie, this product kind of scares me.  It is what they call a 'tubing' mascara, where the product actually forms a tube around the individual lash to provide length and volume.  According to the manufacturer this type of mascara is run proof, smudge proof, wont clump or flake, it is rub proof, waterproof and you can run a marathon in it.  Umm... yeah.  You are also NOT to use makeup remover to remove this mascara.  Simply LOTS of warm water and gentle pressure from your fingers or wash cloth.

      The directions are equally as interesting, you are not to use any moisturizers on your face before using this product as the oils in the moisturizer may interfere with how this product works.  Again it stresses lots of water and pressure should be used to remove the tubes.  You will "feel" the mascara coming lose and there is a note that says you will see the tubes in your sink or hands and they will look like your lashes, but they are just the tubes.

      OK I am intrigued and scared.. but mostly intrigued.. OK maybe mostly scared?  I try to stay far away from any mascara that uses fibers to lengthen.  Mostly because I do have super sensitive eyes and the thought of little fibers accidentally getting into my eyes sounds about as nice as getting a foot rub from a porcupine.   But this doesn't appear to be fibers, they compare it to making a cast around the lash.

     We will see....I'll update you if I do end up trying this out.

Starlooks Pro Luxe Longwear Eyeliner - Full Size - $19.00

Starlooks Pro Luxe Longwear Eyeliner Pen in Black

     Yay a product that I know how to use!  LOL Really though this is just your typical felt tip eye liner pen.  The black color is very dark and intense.  It does have a bit of a shine to it dried down, so if you like a more matte look for your liner this probably won't be the formula for you.

Swatch of Starlooks Pro Luxe Longwear Eyeliner Pen

     Aside from the bit of shine that I am not crazy about. The formula is very nice.  It doesn't settle into my fine lines and it dries down fairly quickly and it stays put. It doesn't appear to be waterproof, but it's not claiming to be either.  It removed very easily with makeup remover.  I was able to create both fine lines and thicker lines with the pen.  It's not anything revolutionary, but it is a good basic liner. 

Coastal Scents Revealed Smoky Palette - Full Sized - $39.95

Coastal Scents Revealed Smoky Palette Packaging 

     OK first off I feel the need to mention that while Coastal Scents does list the original price of this palette as $39.95, never have I ever seen it actually sold for that price. The list price on the website says $29.95 and even then I have never seen it sold for more than $19.95.  I don't know where $39.95 is coming from, but that's not the cost of this palette. 

View of all 20 shadow pans in Coastal Scents Revealed Smokey Palette

     For those unfamiliar with Coastal Scents, it is a discount cosmetic company.  They are well known for having the giant 88 pan palettes that they sell for like $15.00.  The eye shadows in those remind me a lot of the cheap off brand makeup kits that you can buy around the holidays.  You know the ones that have like 80 eye shadows, 15 blushes and 10 lipsticks all in a glitter train case. 

Top row swatch of Coastal Scents Revealed Smoky Palette

     Anyway the most recent products Coastal Scents has put out are their own takes on the Urban Decay Naked palettes.  I have received those in previous Boxycharm boxes and they are.. meh.. they are OK for cheap palettes. Owning the original Naked palettes, there is really no appeal for me in the Coastal Scents versions BUT I will say if money is an issue for you, the Coastal Scents Revealed palettes are a decent enough alternative to Urban Decay.  You can make them work. 

Bottom row swatch of Coastal Scents Revealed Smoky Palette

     So this Revealed Smoky palette is obviously a play on the Urban Decay Smoky palette. And I will say that of all the Revealed palettes, I like this one the most.  It also has some very close color dupes to the Urban Decay Smoky palette.  Does it behave the same as the Urban Decay? No. They take a little more work to blend out and to build up.  Some of the shadows are a bit chalky.  But again we are talking about a $20 palette compared to a $50 palette.

     The top row of shadows probably has the most misses for me. The first two mattes are pretty chalky and the bright gold color was really sheer.  The bottom row of this palette I was very surprised by.  Many of the colors are very nice, I really like the first 4 shades.  Again they aren't as easy to work with as the Urban Decay.  But for a $20 palette, these really are not that bad. 

     That is everything I received this month.  Thank you so much for stopping by!  If you have any experience with these products (especially the brushes and the mascara) , I'd love to hear about it!   Also if you would like to share what you got in your own Ipsy or Boxycharm boxes - feel free to share in the comment section.  I will see you next week! 

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Personal Update: Our Son's Diagnosis

 
     Hello everyone!  I would like to take a moment and preface this post by first thanking each and every one of you that support me by taking the time to stop by and read my blog.   A Beauty in the Chaos has grown exponentially in readership this past month and I am unbelievably thankful.  Today's post is going to be a little different than my traditional fare.  It is a subject that is incredibly difficult to write or to even speak about, so please bear with me.

     This past Tuesday I had to face a neurologist who looked me in the eyes and told me my child has Spastic Monoplegia Cerebral Palsy.  For my husband and myself, the diagnosis was not a shock.  Our son has been in physical therapy since he came home from the NICU and all signs pointed to some form of Cerebral Palsy.  This was essentially a formality.  Formal documentation of what we had known (feared) all along.

     One would think having some foresight would help ease the news of the diagnosis.  In a way it does.  I can't imagine having this news dropped on me completely unexpectedly.  But, in a different way hearing the confirmation was harder.

     See despite my tendencies to always prepare for the worst outcomes possible, I am at heart an optimist.  These past two years, I have never lost hope that perhaps my son would grow out of the troubles he was experiencing.  That it was for (lack of better definition) just a delay in physical development due to being born 3 months early, a delay he would eventually catch up with. That eventually the physical therapy he gets twice a week, the extra doctors appointments, the shoe inserts, the braces, all of that would be outgrown and left behind.

     When the neurologist said the words Cerebral Palsy, she didn't cast some sort of bleak future for my son (he's in the highest functioning group and his prognosis is good).  And logically I know that ultimately very little has changed for my son, his life continues as it always has.  He will still have a fulfilling future, his path is just a little different now. Yet emotionally I am a wreck.  Because with those two words, that tiny piece of hope died in me.  My son won't outgrow this.  There is brain damage, it is permanent. It's hard to remain optimistic about the future when so often life hacks away at our slivers of hope.

     We as parents try so hard to shelter our children (especially young ones) from the harsh cruelties that life can hand out.   We dread the day when we might have to wipe tears from our son or daughter's face because they were teased at school.  I am terrified of what my son may face due to his apparent difference.  I'm no longer tasked only with raising a strong, compassionate, and confident child, but also finding a way to be strong and confident myself regarding his condition.  To keep my composure when someone makes an offhanded remark regarding his walking or appearance, when what I really want to do is lash out at them about their ignorance.  Because that's what I want my son to learn.  Not just how to deal physically with his condition, but how to deal emotionally with the bullshit he may encounter.

     Again I would like to thank each of you who takes the time to check in here.  Much of this blog is essentially a type of therapy for me as well as a hobby.  Yes, it gives me a forum to express my feelings and thoughts when stuff is bringing me down. But more importantly it provides a space where I can focus on the people and things that make me happy.  Even if it is something as trivial as a new eye shadow palette. Focusing on what makes us happy is sometimes the only way we can combat the chaos that life hands us.

Love and thanks to everyone reading this.  Thank you so much for supporting me an this blog.  I will return next week (if not sooner)!




   
   

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